Embracing Learning

I ran another four mile race on Saturday in my continuing effort to figure out this racing thing. It was my second one since May. I finished again sixth in my age/gender group and ten seconds behind my last four mile finish time. 

Still, I consider it a vastly better race for a few reasons.

Post Race Happiness with Tim Peach

1. PRs are nice but they are not everything. Or at least that is what I am telling myself this week. I raced smarter than I did last time. Instead of disappointment about a slower time, I choose to relax, let myself off the hook, and celebrate all I'm learning. If I succeed in believing this, that's a big step.
2. It is finally dawning on me that races of the same distance are not necessarily identical. Even with my two recent four-milers both being in Central Park's loop, the conditions were pretty different in the heat and humidity of July than they were in May. Saturday was a more difficult race. If I consider the merit of every race solely by my finish time, I'm short-changing my experience.
3. I began the race better mentally ready. Last time only at the starting line did I begin to wrestle with the idea that racing shorter distances meant leaving my comfort zone. This time I knew what I was facing and was looking strangely forward to it.
4. My mind is 95% of it. Because my mind was this time ready to embrace 30 minutes outside my body's comfort zone, it spent far less time trying to convince my body to quit the race. 
5. I confirmed again that I can run through rough moments without stopping. Breathing is magic. I belly-breathed away a looming side stitch and used breathing to dispel my enemy nausea that crept up on me during mile three. 
6. My fourth and final mile was spent silently, but raucously, singing Patti Smith's "Gloria" in my head. Not only did Patti stop me from thinking about anything else, but together we channeled my badass racing self to kick it over the finish line.

Usually extremely self-critical, I am grateful to be right now magically open to patiently and kindly allowing myself to learn. It is truly a gift handed to me in these last months of my 49th year. What's next? Bring it.